The more you communicate, the worse it gets. He baits you. He has never, or seldom, not turned the easiest of situations into complex, mathematical algorithm. Its only for the sake of f'ing with your head.
Refer to your divorce decree, what does it direct you to do as far as visitation, and does it address Birthdays? Follow it to the letter. In the future send ONE email. ONE, not 5. Change your settings in email to notify you if the email has been read.
I also told him that ANY time outside of her time w friends, was his for the taking and I wanted NO conflict around DD's bday When has this man ever done what you asked? When has he ever taken into consideration his children, and what's best for them, as opposed to an opportunity to screw with you, and drag out what could be solved in one sentence? Stop telling him what to do WTBH, I really believe it fuels his fire.
I texted to say "do not contact me again via text, email or phone". Refer to your divorce decree what does it say regarding communication? You have just told him he can have zero communication with you. That's not going to work, he has visitation. No point in saying something that you can't do with out repercussions. You can; however, choose the method I suppose in which you want to communicate unless the decree says otherwise.
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"WTBH, I've been civil and productive w u on the phone 4ever, and I really want for us to get together and figure out events like birthdays. Y are u so unccoperative. I just want u to set aside some time that works 4 me this weekend so I can wish DD a happy birthday. Come one WTBH who are you looking to hurt here!?!? Me? Haven't you hurt me enough? U say u wull destroy me and u r crazy enuf to do it"
There is no reason to "get together" what a load. You'd think you all were trying to decide a major event in her life (though I do understand her birthday is a major event
, there's no need to "get together" - ding, ding, ding ding quack. "I just want u to set aside some time that works 4 me this weekend so I can wish DD a happy birthday". Fine enough email today - "Per your request please let me know the times that work for you, her party is at X time and she will be unavailable then. if you do not give me a time I will set aside X time on Saturday. The end.
Leave it at that. Don't send him the 5 emails, don't tell him how upset DD will be if he no shows. Don't mention his 6 phone calls. He looks for any crack he can find to continue the conversation. He gets a thrill when you are irritated.
During his last meltdown I believe someone suggested you cut and paste the portion of the divorce decree in all emails pertinent to whatever was going on. I'm going to suggest that again going forward. I'd also suggest you no longer send him more than one email about a subject ever.
Its no fun to play a game by yourself.