Originally Posted by Keepnitreal

Hi-
This is my first attempt at sobriety and it's scary. My emotions have been all over the place. (This week I've been a bit down because of child issues) Some days are super easy and others are damn hard. The stretch of several hard days (I believe PAWS) have almost been my undoing. The thought of never still almost knocks me over.
Dee and all of the special members of this group have helped me stay grounded, but it's still a daily struggle. Sometimes, more often of late, it's just a slight memory and not a real craving, so that's easy to put away.
But I also know I've been subconsciously planning a binge if/when my hubby and child are away on a trip. I'm trying to get my plan in place so I don't stumble and fall when that time comes. I'm not sure why I want to test myself like this. Part of me wants to have a fun weekend and then not drink again for many months. I just need to figure it out and put it away before the opportunity presents itself.