Old 03-03-2016, 06:51 PM
  # 452 (permalink)  
Delizadee
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
It feels like a PAWS day. I know this is normal but DAMN I feel like I have been hitting a brick wall at breakneck speed the past 3 days. I tripped out on a massive anxiety attack pretty much all day today... where the hellsballs did that come from??

Met with my interim counselor, she is great. Went to the public library (see how I typed p u b l i c sooo carefully?) with my wee one, we got a card and I took out 6 books. 6! I haven't had a library card in years. I have just been reading on kindle on my phone for what seems like forever now. Being broke is just, ahhh, sooo sobering. Haha. Anyways, she played a bit, I read, we went shopping and now it's full on blizzarding outside here...
Missing my in-town group tonight, as usual.. Have a hard time finding a sitter for most nights to go. And being broke, family-less and friendless mostly does not help the sitter situation. Ah well. I suppose the AA eye candy will have to wait til next week.

You guys are all a great group. And if I don't respond specifically to anybody, I do apologize. My brain still feels like a radio that's a few clicks off the station. I can kind of hear the right tune, but as soon as I turn the volume up, I hear tons of static an go slightly cuckoo. And that pertains to everything in my life at the moment. Trying to filter out the noise as to what is important and what is not at the moment still feels tiresome by the end of the day. It reminds me of being in detox. No one could remember anyone's names for the first 3 days... every five minutes we'd be asking each other what their names were. Yet we still felt safe, at home, welcomed and understood together.
Yall are fantabulous. Early recovery is hard. You need big balls to not go skazasscerwards er whatever, amiright?

I am rambling.
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