Checking in. Tomorrow will be 10 months for me. Spring is here and I feel like one of those hibernating animals that are starting to poke their heads out and start the living process again. Feel like it happened in the nick of time--I can feel myself starting to lean towards depression a little, I know I just need to indulge myself a little and that will abate. What a dumb thing really--just take time to do something you like--I'll never understand why it's so hard for me to do that. I mean I'll do stuff I like but it always must have some sort of productive element to it. I need to just go out and see a movie, something that I really like--won't necessarily improve my life but my psyche. Wish I could go on some sort of mini vaca but with my new job it's hard and our future is still up in the air. I am so tired of Haggen postponing the auction. It is just nerve wracking not knowing what is going to happen. At least I have easy stepwork this week--my sponsor just told me to read some of the stories in the big book :-) Going back and doing step one-( I didn't realize there was anything to actually do with that) was good, writing out sort of my story with alcohol and the many ways I let it take control of my life. I also realized that no one--absolutely no one--realized I was an alcoholic, least of all myself and if it weren't for me getting passed over at work--I would have never known it myself and probably just stayed the same miserable way. Now my life isn't always great but at least it's not the same old crap. It's and adventure again.
Well, hang in there everyone ttfn.