SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Getting back on the horse.
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Old 03-01-2016, 09:57 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Evienne's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: the Low Lands
Posts: 113
It feels like a warm blanket to be welcomed back like this

Yes, Bandicoot, I think I will join the class. Thank you so much for your kind words.

This horse I get to ride has already proven herself to be a real challenge. She has all this excess energy she has to get rid of without pressuring her hurt leg too much and she doesn't really trust me yet. I can't think of a better reason to stay sober and dust off what's left of my brain. I am dirt poor so I have to spend my money on horse psych books instead of booze. Scarier even, I'm going to have to ask some people for help and guidance, which I can practice right here.

And since it is not my horse I MUST prove that I can be trusted.

Funny things happened though, even after 9 days. People have been asking me for advice on their pets, and for themselves. It has happened three times already and it feels totally weird, foreign, and a bit undeserved.

I'm just not feeling very proud of myself yet. I never did, but I never did much to warrant pride, or I countered it with something to be terribly ashamed of. If I don't feel proud of getting sober, and helping people, I am afraid I will succumb sometime soon when things get difficult. I have no one near me that pats me on the head for sobriety but you guys. So how would I begin to feel this? Will it come naturally with more sober time and goals achieved?
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The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Evienne For This Useful Post:
bandicoot2 (03-02-2016), Carlotta (03-01-2016), INgal (03-02-2016), saoutchik (03-01-2016), shybunny (03-02-2016)