Telling on myself... randomly went into trance mode and going through the motions in my head of pouring a drink.
Shame on you AV. I thought we were coming to an understanding.
Meeting tonight! weehoo!
Hope Coco is doing ok...
JL, I think most of us do ok in long term recovery, head-wise. I know I feel drastically different at the 2 week mark than I did at one week. I think some of the neurological pathways are altered through addiction that can't be repaired, hence why we are forever prone to relapse. Some of the articles I read that have been posted on here spoke about how alcoholism affects our brains in the short and long term, and how some things possibly can't be fixed, and other things we have to either relearn or learn new ways of doing.
I know for me, my brain works a hell of a lot differently than it did before I really hit the bottle hard. I also mixed booze and psych meds more than once and I am missing big chunks of memories. From times when I was sober and drunk. I am missing all of January and half of Feb pretty well. And I was sober most of february.
Because I was maxed out on Effexor after my son was born, and eventually started to mix booze in when it didn't work, I don't remember any of the first year of my son's life. I have some recollections of the first week home and his birth. And all of his pregnancy. But his first year is just, *poof* gone. I have snatches of memories here and there but they are like trying to remember a dream... reaching, grasping, fleeting images.
The effexor withdrawal was terrible too. Worse in a lot of ways than alcohol. It took a year for the drug withdrawals to ease off. And you guessed it, I medicated those as much as possible with alcohol. *eye roll*