Ughhh, Monday... I have zero motivation for anything. I feel like eating all day long and laying in bed watching shows on my phone. I NEED to do stuff.... edit photos, rewrite my resume, clean up. I have no gumption for anything. I don't even want to exercise today. I feel passively like drinking.... but nooooo.
I live in a world of small towns where my drinking career was pretty well known. So it won't be very hard for me to turn it down in public situations. Towards the end my drinking was all done in secret and I'd go well out of my way to go gamble, buy booze, got to bars etc when I did.
Now I enjoy sneaking off to mcdonalds for a value menu chicken burger or to tim horton's for a delicious double double cooofffeee.... mmmm coooofffeee.
Reasons I can think of for not drinking:
"I don't drink alcohol, it makes me see funny faces."
"I don't drink alcohol, it makes my clothes fall off."
"I don't drink alcohol, it makes my phones and doors break."
"I don't drink alcohol, it makes me drive and walk erratically."
"Alcohol breaks my toilet paper budget."
"I'll skip the drink and go straight to detox thanks."
"I don't drink unless you're ready to become my psychotherapist for the next 6 hours"
Lol... ohhh the things I did when I drank. I was such a self-centred, fly off the handle, resentful, obnoxious *******. I thought I was SO smart, and SO insightful, and SO bloody entitled to all my ****** feelings and actions.
I'm just going to stick to "no thanks, I'm good" with a sincere smile, and if pressed for reasons, I'll decide then and there what and how much I'm going to share. My sobriety is nobody's business but my own and those I choose to let in in a supportive capacity. Only I can make it or break it and don't feel the need to justify to anyone outside of me. And well my counselors and lawyer.