Thanks for the advice and support. I'm not drinking today. The choice wasn't easy as I feel defeated. I know 8 days wasn't a lot but it was a lot of work to get that far .. and it feels so stupid to have just walked into the store on the 9th day without ability to control myself.
As I said I tried "playing the tape through", even thought to myself on my way home with the beer "You can still throw it out." Still drank it.
That scares me. It tells me no matter how dedicated I am .. a day could come where my addiction takes the helm and even though I'm trying to overpower it .. I somehow still end up sitting at home with beer.