I can choose, thanks tom.
You know the legal defense of 95% burden of proof being on the prosecution? I feel like that's the problem. There is a shadow of a doubt in my mind that I can drink.
That tiny doubt wedges huge cracks in my mental armor.
Maybe that's how it is for many people.
And that doubt gets deeper as time pushes me farther from the last drink I took. Its tough to remember how bad things were sometimes.