Originally Posted by
seek 
Did you do an inventory of your motives? You sound super angry and maybe you were projecting your issues onto her. If he is in rehab and not driving her car, it's really her business who she chooses to live with.
You said he is "violent," but didn't give any details or evidence that the kids are in danger (and of course, if the kids are in danger, CPS should be called, but otherwise, you might not like the situation, but it is her business).
Just my two cents.
I AM angry that two little boys are subjected to living with a drunk and have been subjected to his destruction of home items, verbal assaults and drunken rage for the last year since she introduced him to her home.
I AM angry that Ive been told Im delusional by her for being alarmed by his drinking and his rage that she has described in horrid detail to me but wants to do nothing to change.
Where kids are involved, BOTH parents get to have a vote about their safety and her choice to lie to the kids dad to protect her boyfriends cozy set up in her home and her inability to put her kids first, was a no brainer to me.
I did check my motives. The kids well being.
When a parent is so enmeshed in the addiction of her partner that she can't put her kids well being first, and is admitting to lying to the other parent and hiding safety info about the kids, then my moral code says someone has to speak up for the kids.
So am I angry? Yup. And it's a shame more people don't feel angry when kids aren't safe and do something about it.
Adults who want to be selfish don't get to mess with their kids safety in my book. I had people step in and give me the wake up call I needed in order to make me have to focus on my kids-- I have tried for a year to gently help this friend of mine and she is consumed with her relationship with a drunk loser who does not work and who she supports.
So now that he's legally getting himself into trouble and she can't be bothered to do what's right by her kids and then admitted to lying to the kids dad about the DWI issue with the boyfriend, I did not feel I could sleep at night knowing that the kids own dad did not have the info he needed to keep them safe if he so chooses.
Maybe there'd be less need for a ACOA thread if more people got angry and made themselves uncomfortable and stood up for kids stuck in bad situations...
And being in court mandated rehab and supposedly not driving (nothing to say he can't take the keys and drive) is not exactly a reassurance that the kids are safe...