wanttobehealthy

My "best friend" (enabler of alcoholic live in boyfriend living with she and her two kids- he is a total loser, leeching off of her and she is ok with it and defends him) and I have had endless go arounds about this loser bf of hers since he moved here a year and ago.

One day she's saying she's kicking him out bc of his drinking, the next she is saying it was a one time mistake and Im projecting my issues with xAH onto her bf and he has no issue.

Well, front and center in the local police log was a report about her bf having been arrested for 2 separate DWI's a month ago.

She is still defending him, saying that she's got boundaries in place (like he can't drive her car- DUH he lost his license) and is in rehab (court ordered) and of course he is still living with she and her kids.

She also has decided that she doesnt need to discuss this with her ex husband (the kids dad) and she's hoping he doesn't see the police log.

I am having a VERY hard time with this and feeling like it's a safety issue and that the dad has EVERY right to know that his kids are being made to live with a drunk (who is also violent).

I have told my friend that I love her and care and am concerned but can not continue to listen to her newest rationalizations and justifications of her bf's crap.

She is CLEARLY choosing him over her kids well being and seems to have rationalized that it is ok to not let her kids dad know about the DUI's even though the boyfriend lives there...

Im not about to do anything or tell the ex husband myself but I am so frustrated and angry and worried for the kids and upset and need help calming down...

I know this hits close to home for me, I know I did not listen to advice when I was given it about my now xAH... I know this is karma probably...

I just don't know how to be supportive anymore of an enabling, excuse making woman who clearly prefers to be with a loser drunk than provide her kids a stable home.... And frankly I think when her ex husband learns of this he may argue that the kids need to be with him more than 50% of the time and I would have to agree.

I have talked to my friend until Im blue in the face and she just ignores anything that is contradictory to what she wants to hear.

Im in tears out of frustration over this and was hoping for some perspective from you all before I lose my mind.