Jjj111, I send my oldest because she called him dad for so long and I wanted my girls together. It was an agonizing decision to do so. The older she has gotten, she has expressed to me that she doesn't view him like a father at all. She's about 13 1/2. So I give her the option of staying home more often. She will eventually stop going all together. His oldest son is 14 1/2 and he wants to stop going as well. His mom and I have a feeling that very soon he is going to punch his dad out and refuse to visit anymore. And in the state of California, you cannot force a teenager to show go for visits. My youngest is 9. She is going to have to endure all of it for a little while longer. And yes, the oldest is mad at me (sometimes) for having to go visit.... though this weekend, she chose to go for his birthday. And my youngest gets mad at me because her sister gets to stay home, but she can't. It's a no win for me! Lol...
And of course, the dad blames me and the other mom for the kids' feelings about him. He called it "parental alienation" in court. Has nothing to do with him in his eyes.....
And yesterday he tried to drag my abf into it. My controlling behavior led me to say things like "you and your wife's fighting needs to stop in front of the kids", and so he decided to start accusing my abf of drinking and driving with the kids in the car. All because one time my abf stupidly pounded a beer in my ex's bathroom and then placed the empty beer can under the sink! Lol... but you know.... my ex turning it into drinking and driving is the same types of twisted lies he does with me. My abf did decide to write my ex a message saying how he is sober and hasn't even had a drink in front of the girls for over a year and would never put them in harms way.... all of which are true. But I let that one go too.
I listened to an amazing third step study, and this guy Bob had so many gems of wisdom in it!
Anyway.... I've been rambling... one of the many perks of SR. Thanx for your responses and for listening.