Tommy I am there with you and feel your pain. I am on day 8. Mostly I don't want to drink but sometimes the cravings hit me like a brick wall out of nowhere. And the depression and anxiety is so intense.
The best way I know how to deal with it is like others have said. Try not to isolate yourself. Have you tried AA? I know my sponsor has been a real boon to me when I've needed her. Get a big book, read, read some more, work the steps, hit as many meetings as you can. Speak to a counselor. Meditate, pray or practice affirmations. Work on a recovery plan. Plan a daily maintenance list and remember to practice gratitude like writing in a gratitude journal everything big or small that you are grateful for at the end of the day.
When things seem overwhelming, close your eyes, breathe deeply. Tell yourself, "even though I have these feelings, I deeply and completely love and accept myself". Turn your feelings over- to God, your Higher Power, or positive self-affirmations. Remind yourself firmly that the only thing required of you is to stay sober today- and that with sobriety you will cultivate the tools inside and outside of you to handle whatever comes your way.
If you read some of the excerpts from "under the influence" you will see that what we're dealing with is par for the course. This too shall pass. We have to keep working our sobriety muscles until they move with ease of strength but always being careful not to slack on our upkeep. Even still sometimes the brain outruns us. Take faith however you can and let go of the things you don't have control over right now and turn your mind to the positives. Even if it feels false to us right now, eventually it will grow to come from a genuine place and bring us peace.
Throw everything you've got at it. That's what I'm doing. Hang in there my friend. Also, I highly recommend the Sober Tool app. At a finger's touch there are messages there suited to anything you are feeling. It's been a great help for me.
