A short reference guide or refresher to the above.
-denial
-selective inattention
-rationalization
-diversion
-playing the victim
-vilifying the victim
-covert intimidation
-lying
-shaming
-projecting
-minimizing
-playing the servant role
See every one here far too regularly. The descriptions are about a perfect fit as one can get.
Rationalization is the biggie because some of the other things are how one rationalizes. The rationalizing is where the lies and other tactics come in. In their minds the ends justify the means except most addicts/alkies use and abuse other people's means like money to get to their ends.
Got to learn how to win the small battles first and that means now matter how trivial the lie at least in some fashion let them know they've been caught lying. I've seen lying behavior escalate, especially with when the people lied to don't react in fashion to a lie. The alkie/addict sees that person as prey for their scam.