KIR - Did something happen in particular that triggered a future-date craving? Are you struggling with closing the door forever on drinking?
I can't go back in time, rewind, and become a moderate drinker. Because I'm an alcoholic, the first drink gets me drink. For me, to take another drink would be to dive into the insanity of active alcoholism. What made you decide to stop? When I decided to stop I felt angry, ashamed, and lost. I know from listening to other alcoholics, its progressive nature makes every subsequent relapse darker.
It's helpful to have a plan when cravings strike. I am not religious, but I like to redirect my thoughts with the serenity prayer: "...Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
From there, I developed ways to release stress, fill time, and enjoy myself without booze - or toxic individuals who make me want to drink or want me to drink. My sponsor has been a great resource as I build my sober life. Do you have one who you can reach out to if the urge strikes?
Today I had a stressful afternoon. No tragedies, nothing terrible, just garden variety stress and aggravation. I heard myself droning on and on and on and on. I realized my nonstop chatter was just perpetuating my bad mood, so I used one of my tricks to stop it. I sat down in a comfy chair, wrapped up in a blanket, and took some deep breaths. I overheard my oldest ask where I was. He said "well she did have a stressful afternoon complaining about other people's kids." So true!
I can share my aggravations or I can share my triumphs, right? So I picked up SR, and decided to share with other alcoholics what helps me.