(((((((Ann))))))) Sorry you are having troubles with your mom. Something I thought about, though, is how I react to other people when I am REALLY worried about someone I love. I know it is not right, but I am sure I often take my stress out on the other people I love. It is a natural response. I can't scream and yell at the person who is really sick--or at their illness (which is what I would really like to do). Instead, the folks who I truly love and who I know truly love me get the brunt of the anger. Of course, through my recovery program I have learned to try not to do that, or at least to make amends when I realize I have done it, but your mom probably doesn't have the benefit of a program......? I think I take these things out on the folks who love me most because intuitively I know they will continue to love me no matter what. I don't know if that makes any sense, or if it even pertains to your situation, but it was something I was thinking about.
Also, as others have said, I have learned that I have no control over what other people do, say, or think. However, I DO have control over how I react to them. I can CHOOSE to let the anger take control of me, or I can choose to remember that other people are sick, too, and let go of the anger. I know you know all this, though, and I appreciate your need to just vent. I have been there, for sure. Hope your venting helped!!!
Hugs--