I usually read all the posts before posting, but I'll have to do it later.
Not sure anyone can relate to this. Every time I've quit, my husband kept drinking, yet I was able to stay sober (at one point in my marriage I had one year). This time he promised to moderate; he's very worried about me.
But he's an alcoholic. He means well, but he ended up increasing his intake since I got sober week by week until the last two days I had to deal with stumbling, blackouts, insane spending. He never gets mean like I did, thank God.
Once you take a drink, even if you're the best person in the world (and he comes close), all bets are off. You lose your judgment.
He is not open to recovery although he will go to couples counseling with me. He thinks he can "be better" and is so sorry and will try to moderate again. Sigh. I know where that goes.
I feel defeated. I don't want to leave him; he's so much more than an alcoholic. He's my best friend and love of my life. I get scared to post about this issue because in AA people said, "you have to leave him."