Welcome to SR.
It's not the frequency or the amount that you drink - more the effect it has on you and your life, and the power it has over you.
The second question can't be answered by anyone. Maybe not even your partner. But one thing's for certain, whether she stays or goes, you'll be much more able to deal with whichever situation sober (if you are an alcoholic).
I found these questions helpful to think the question over my 'status' regarding drinking
Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You? Twelve questions only you can answer