Hi Worrlyles5,
I don't know the first thing about meth addiction, I am just a recovered alcoholic. Reading your post from that point of view you seem to be doing everything right.
Maybe prayer to your Higher Power will bring an answer. Often a rough patch like this is symptomatic of spiritual growth going on.
The other thing that jumped out at me was whether or not you have rejoined the mainstream of life. Your life seems to be entirely based around addiction and it's consequences. You have your personal involvement with NA/AA, you volunteer to help victoms of addiction/addicts, and you work in the rehab field. With all your friends relapsing I could understand why things would look bleak in that picture.
I have had a few buddies in AA work in the field. It seems a natural fit but almost without exception, they found it incredibly draining. The emotional strain and dissapointment when someone relapses, who they really wanted to get some of what they had got for themselves (recovery) was incredibly frustrating.
There is a whole world out there. I have found it is full of wonderful loving people most of whom are not alcoholic or addict, and it is possible for me to exist in their world very happily. It is so nice to, for example, just go out and have dinner and talk about whatever, just relax and enjoy their company without all the heavy weight drama of the alcoholic world.
There is so much more to life, more than I ever imagined, and I just wondered if it might be time for you to put your toe in the water and start living among normal folk who are, for the most part, loving and caring. I think the highlight of my life has been watching others get back into the community and be accepted as I was. The "earth people" can be pretty cool.
BTW I got sober at 22, so you got me beat by a good margin. Trust me, the best years of your life are ahead of you
