OK, let's talk about the child support. Why would you let him get away with this?
He has a job, get it garnished. Whether he pays CS or not has nothing to do with visitation or anything about that.
States do go after people not paying CS. If it is being monitored by the state, meaning they are garnishing his check or he has to send money in to them, it's the better way to go. If your ex gets pulled over for a dui, they will check and if he is behind in CS, then his a$$ gets thrown in jail.
It's no longer a time to play nice. He is threatening. He wants to keep going after you. (We all know the blame game here). He wants you to "fold", and you were doing that because you still had the mindset of when you were married to him.
Ask me how I know, or ask anyone here, why they know.
It took me 4 years to figure out how to deal with my bully (abuser).
All circumstances may not be the same, and that is OK. We now have that legal paper which is called a divorce decree, and parenting thingy (I didn't have one of those, my kids were older), but our voice can now be heard.
I think you are terrific, and I think you are really doing great.
(((((((hugs))))))
amy