WTBH, FWIW, I did all the same things that you did. Trying to make sense out of non sense. Trying to explain. Trying to be reasonable. It took a really long time for me to realize, the insane will not listen to sane. They always try to make their own rules, well now is the time, to ......
put on that camo outfit
you are going to war
you are going to get your self esteem back, and also
your self confidence.
You have divorce papers, and you have a parenting plan.
and you are going to go thru all of that with a fine tooth comb.
you are going to find that indemnification clause.
I know my standard email had to do with financial aspects, but, you can word that the way you need to word that.
When dealing with High conflict people, you need to use BIFF. Be Brief, Informative, Friendly (don't use vulgarity, even if you want to) and Facts.
Point out what the court settlement states, can point out possible consequences, can point out how he can modify, but that if he doesn't you will strickly adhere to court papers.
Can also point out that a judge signed these papers and that you respect the judges opinion (a little brown nosing for the judge), and that if he gets a modification that you would respect the judges decision on that also. (more brown nosing.
Do not go on and on explaining anything. You should know by now that this leads into circular arguments.
I just want to tell you that I went thru circular arguments till I decided, no more. It took me 4 years. We are so use to pacifying them, giving them what they want, it's like we don't know any other way.
There is another way.
You got the court papers. You got the agreements. Now use them.
I get it that it might be hard to do this the first time, but I have to say, that once you do this the first time, it comes easier and easier.
Right now, you are allowing him to threaten you. Turn those tables around. You have the papers to do that.
I do have to tell you that once I told my tantrum throwing baby "no" and to take it to court, I no longer was afraid of how he would react.
It's a big step, but I know how strong you are, and you can do this.
Many (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy