Good morning everyone. Today would have had 3 weeks sober, but I drank Friday night and again last night. I drank for no particular reason, except that I had the opportunity to drink alone as my kids weren't home. I regret it beyond measure, but I learned a valuable lesson (again) hopefully once and for all. I want sobriety so much more than I want to drink.
I have an arsenal of tools, and they really help me on a day to day basis. Whats missing, though, is a specific plan for those moments when I have the "opportunity" to drink and my mindset switches from sobriety and recovery to almost a type of entitlement - "I deserve to drink", "Nothing bad has happened, why am I denying myself this one pleasure"- thoughts like that.
Usually a slip like this lasts weeks, or even months, for me. This time I am catching myself. Coming here right away, putting it out there, is a start. Today I will be writing up a plan with specific steps of what I need to do when I am faced with a moment like I had Friday night.
Maximus....I am sorry you are going through such a hard time with your family. Post as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. The first healthy step in getting through anything is staying sober. I know you know that.
On a good note, I bought a new laptop. Still getting used to it, but now I have no excuse but to post and come here or use other recovery tools I have found online. I'm not letting this bring me down, and I'm not continuing the madness.
Hang in there guys. I could care less about the Super Bowl or the drinking that is associated with it, so that's a good thing!