That one straw can and will bring you back...
IF YOU LET IT!
You and you alone are in control of your using. It isn't your mom's *fault* if you pick up. YOU pick up! Sorry. I'm not buying that line.
If you want to use, go ahead and do so; don't lay it on her, though.
I am speaking as a mother of a heroin addict who has been blamed over and over. I say BS! If he picks up, it's cuz HE WANTS TO!!!
Now, as far as your mom goes, you ARE 35. So act like it! You are not dependent on her, are you? If you are, get out from under that! If you live in her house, follow her rules; if you don't live your own life. If she calls, calmly tell her you are busy so you don't have to listen to her. And don't lay your stuff on her if you don't want her feedback.
Time to grow up, Ann. 35 is too old to be blaming mommy anymore. :nono:
Shalom!