I'm struggling.
If you have my number please call. If you don't please email.
I just got out of treatment and I'm basically more cynical and survival mode than I've ever been.
Frankly ... I was with 3 time felons, 3rd generation IV users, and people who twist your nipples and have used shives on people. I'm in survival mode.
I learned that I have huge compassion for the people I spent my time with. It broke my heart. But I also learned that I could survive in prison and I'm not sure that is good!
I learned I can stand up to the most intimidating person and call them on their Sh*t. I'm a survivor. But I don't really like that part of me.
Being afraid of the consequences has never kept me sober. I need hope (reasonable hope). Treatment did not help me. I'm very depressed. Pretending to do the god thing won't help.
I still have my job, but I want to retire in a year at 58. The stress of promising I'll be sober forever is killing me. This is not self pity, but rather realism.
How many alchoholics and addicts really make it? The percentage is really pretty small
crap... i'll let you go.
Sorry.
Nands