I can relate to much of what you've said.
It seems that once I removed alcohol as a viable "solution" to any problem, or as a reaction or response to X event or X state of mind, that is when I recovered my "power."
And you can equate power to freedom of choice or free will.
One thing about power -- for me, after getting and staying sober, I discovered my need to control things greatly diminished. Because at that point, I was much better at accepting reality, making necessary or desired changes in my life, and further, had very little desire to control or wield power.
I think empowerment, and especially for females, is a good thing. I feel empowered in my life these days. Feeling capable and confident is a big motivation for me to stay sober.