Sunflower, stop beating yourself up for posting how you are feeling! FYI, much of your post I could have written myself, especially the part of going from a gym rat to a drunken couch potato. The shame and embarrassment of my poor choices over a lifetime is unnerving at times. BUT, I can't change the past or predict the future, so for today, I choose to eat healthy and increase my physical activity. Okay, so I'm off to walk the dog now, I'll catch up with everyone later.