I agree with Lexie.
I finally just opened up to my DD's friends moms, but I know them really well. I told them that my XAH is an alcoholic, that there will be times she can come to things, and times she cannot. They are all good and truly very understanding.
There is a blurb in our divorce decree that the parents are to encourage participation in social events, and may not cause the child to miss out on those, however, the definition of the social even is not mentioned.
Hugs to you!