It's been 2.5 months since I left my AH. (What's the acronym for AH-Who-Can't-Be-X-Soon-Enough?) We're trying to use mediation to reach a divorce settlement, which seems to be working okay except for on the issue of sobriety monitoring. Surprise--my AH wants none of it. I, however, refuse joint custody of our 3 children unless he agrees to it, so it looks like we're going to court, at least on that issue.
As my saga continues, I want to say thank you to all of the people here who chime in with their experiences, past and present. I've been doing a lot of reading and finding your insights so helpful in validating my feelings and giving me the strength to do what I need to to.
For others in similar situations, I wanted to re-post a priceless suggestion from ShootingStar1, from last September, I think, on dealing with a narcissist. She wrote:
"Say what you want, and just don't budge. "No." is a complete sentence. To be followed by a very very long pause that eventually he won't be able to resist filling. Then "No." again. Then after the tantrum, walk out. No sense wasting lawyer fees when he is just spewing nonsense."
So true, and just what I needed to have clear in my head today. Thanks, ShootingStar1.
