Good to hear your mind is clearing KIR
Fradley, good to hear from you. One thing alcohol is great for is avoidance. Once we stop drinking, we are then face with issues, some of which may be long term unresolved, which we can no longer lie to ourselves about. Sometimes we look for other methods of avoidance, like fatigue. The issue you believe you need to deal with isn't going to go anywhere until you do, sometimes a mountain seems too big to climb, or we know someone is going to get hurt, or we know there will be other complications.
The fact is, once we grit our teeth and confront something, it begins to get easier because we are taking the right and not the easy road.
I knew for a long time I needed to end my marriage, it was killing me slowly. I also knew it would hurt me and my then husband, I still cared, I just couldn't let him drag me down with him. It was an horrendous few months, I won't lie and sometimes I struggled with my sanity. But I kept in my mind the knowledge that I was doing the right thing for me. It was and life got better and better from that point on.
It took me decades to stop drinking, avoidance. But I finally did, because I knew it was the right thing to do. In both instances I wish I could go back and deal with the issue sooner.
Happy Hump Day Undies