I didn't realize I was reading such an old thread until I was halfway through it! Which makes it good for more of an open share than an advice thread.
I think everyone deserves love/compassion but that doesn't mean I have to love everyone.
My mother had a really difficult hand dealt to her, in terms of brain chemistry and traumatic life events. That's the truth. I feel for anyone who has gone through a lot in their life. Which is almost everyone. It doesn't make me responsible for the emotional health of almost everyone, or obligated to be the emotional whipping-person of someone because they gave birth to me. Nope. My mom used to say, when I still let her talk to me, 'you'd better be nice to me, because I'll be dead some day.' Well... it goes both ways doesn't it.
I told her when I went NC that I hoped she'd get better, and form healthy, fulfilling relationships. And I meant it.