hi Liz, just reading your posts here it doesn't seem like you have a spending issue. It seems more like an earnings issue. You had a good career before, you know you can do it and you are smart and articulate. You have a skill set that many employers would be more than happy to have in their business. You have only been back at work for 7 months after a long time away so I think you are putting yourself under too much pressure right now. Maybe think in terms of annual goals rather than monthly etc.
You could decide for the next 12 months for example to pare everything back to the bone but keep the house for example. It could be argued that you can't afford the house but lets not go there right now. There may be no need to. Forget about taxes and you pension savings, they are largely irrelevant right now. You take home and your expenses are all that matter. You need to get your spending under your take home and clear the credit cards first and refinance the car loan. I know you could argue its better to do the car first as the cc are zero interest but just get rid of them, one less things to worry about.
If you get a chance at a better job paying more money in the next 12 months then I would take it. Your objective is to clear as much debt as possible. Use the next 12 months to figure out exactly what it is you want to do and to put more working time behind you. The next 12 months you could focus on getting the job that will offer you the better prospects in a sector that you really like. At that point your debt will be lower and you will be finding your rhythm again anyway.