Originally Posted by
MikeM 
I'm still drinking. I want to be able to stop right now. But I can't. That's always the pattern with me. Drink all I have or until I go to bed and THEN I can let go of it. It's compulsive. I want to stop drinking right now, but the obsession to finish the pattern for the day is too heavy to overcome.
I've been there so many times so I can completely relate to how you are feeling at the moment. Once you start and the alcohol kicks in, the beast takes over. Or at least it wants you to think it has. However, there is still a small percentage (even while under the influence of the beast and the drink) of the real you in there.
Just think how powerful you will feel if you can let that small part of you take the victory. A few seconds, one gesture and you win. Then you can get into bed and know you just accomplished something incredibly difficult. Doing that will give you so much strength moving forward with your sobriety and you will be able to look back on it the next time the urge hits. You will get your full self back in no time once the booze is gone. I know it's not easy but I have this feeling you can do it. Come on Mike. Do it for yourself. Do it for me. Do it for us.
