Originally Posted by BobbyLight

Morning everyone. Starting day 1 again here. I made it 16 days and gave up yesterday. I had really bad cravings and my AV was quite strong. At one point I felt like I was having a panic attack, but not really. I did everything I could think of: focus on work, write in my journal, read some AVRT stuff, hop on here, and talk with some friends. In the end I made the decision to go have some pints and here I am starting anew. Right now I am feeling guilty and ashamed. I'm sad that I disappointed my loving fiancee that has been so supportive of me. I guess I wasn't prepared to go through something that intense....I still can't believe how I felt and what was going through my head. At one point I was pretty much yelling at it to stop....almost sounds like schizophrenia lol. I have a doctors appt on Monday to talk about this and the pills I've been on these last 3 or so years. I drank very heavily 2 years ago and was able to quit for 3 months much easier than this, in the sense that I didn't have the "battle" I had yesterday. I'm actually freaked out by the whole thing. Anyways, looking forward to a relaxing weekend with the family and no alcohol involved. I'm thinking I need to pick up some books that have been recommended to me. Thanks for reading and have an awesome weekend.