Hello Buddy.
You write a very powerful opening thread. You nearly brought me to tears. I am so glad you posted.
You have every right to feel angry and resentful about your corrected view of what really has been going on and how he gets to go off to rehab while you are stuck in reality of every day. It is OK to be scared too and want somehow to seek a contract of sobriety, a guarantee things will get better, or a crystal ball so you could protect yourself if things aren't going to improve.
Are you going to your own personal counselor? Perhaps an outlet like that will really help you work through your own emotions and what you want to do about this situation to make it livable for you. And one of the options is to end your relationship. If you don't want to sink any more time, that is your right too.
PTSD/C-PTSD ? Inside The Alcoholic Brain
Take care.