My two cents-
I don't think it is judgmental if you decide you want something/someone out of your life. To me that is a boundary and healthy.
It is only judgmental when you notice your response and you are trying to change them to fit your perception of them.
For me my relationship with my ex was an extension of a lifelong pattern of being in relationship. I choose people who honestly could not be there for me the way I wanted.
I had to end a number of relationships when it all hit the fan. I am actually on a wave of doing it again (because I was still attached to a couple of relationships and I needed to work through the why). My attachment was I wanted them to be there for me.....and when they could not I kept "hoping" they could.
I think maybe you need to commend yourself for seeing what you see, calling a spade a spade and making changes.