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Old 01-19-2016, 02:53 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
wanttobehealthy
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Forourgirls View Post
Wanttobehealthy-I could have written every word you wrote. I think it's normal when you really did love someone-truly. I was profoundly sad, in shock and happy I was free-all at the same time. The thing I've learned through all of this is peoples true nature is revealed when the going gets tough-think about that in respect to your ex-a lot has been revealed to you!! It is hard thinking about what might have been and knowing it cannot be repaired. However, that allows other much healthier doors to open! Hugs, friend and peace to you.
Thank you all for listening to my whining rambles..

I really did love him-- the idea of what we could create together because we both had horror show childhoods-- but early in the marriage it was over and I clung to that hope of the ideal for years and years...

I don't understand what I am even sad about bc I grieved the loss of the life I thought we would have forever ago (so I thought), I have been enjoying the life the girls and I have together alone for years now and yet the symbolism of it being over forever seems to be a lot harder than I could have imagined.

I feel like Im damaged goods right now... It's irrational thinking I suppose...

I spent almost 20 years of my life with this man, he is a part of all of my 20's and 30's and every significant part of my life in those decades... So it feels odd to have the finality of no longer legally or emotionally (that part has been over forever) being connected to each other...

And of course he has continued to use the guise of contacting the girls to say hurtful things that he knows will get back to me via them -- knowing that none of this makes him at all sad just makes it a little sad too...
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