Good morning everyone. Got up at 5:25 and am enjoying the peace of this warm, cozy house. I love getting up early, it is so necessary for my sanity. Going to leave for the gym at 6:45- that will be a first for me.
Yesterday was an interesting day. DH and I went to the gym with the kids and then the supermarket. We were around the beer section and I told him it was okay for him to get beer and that I didn't mind (in the past he has not liked me asking him not to drink around me). He bought a 6 pack, 6% beer.
I had zero cravings, zero AV came out all day- I was good.
The interesting part, and somewhat sad I must say, was watching his progression as he drank the 6 pack. He went from irritable in the morning
(his usual) to playful, inspired and energetic
(when the beers started) to sad, quiet and unfocused. By the end of dinner he was sitting at the table just kind of staring off into space. I kept asking him if he was okay as he certainly didn't look okay. I could feel his energy and his vibration was so low. I have never been able to feel that before.
And then of course I was thinking- this used to be me. Now I am pretty sure I didn't stare off into space but who knows. My point is,
what was all that beer for? What did he really gain? Only about 2 hours of it looked like fun for him- was it truly worth it?
I wish I could ask him these questions.
Regardless, being around him when he's drinking is not as bad as I though it would be. If anything, it reaffirms my desire to stay sober. I wish he was at the place I am, maybe one day he will choose it as well
(no pressure if he doesn't.)
Wishing you all a beautiful, sober Monday. I will leave you with my favorite MLK quote for the day:
~P