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Old 01-13-2016, 04:22 PM
  # 498 (permalink)  
Briar
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
 
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Hey guys, so update – I’m actively working on my eating issue, and I’ve gained a couple pounds back. It’s been very challenging, but I’m motivated to work hard because this problem really comes between my family and I. It’s incredible how similar it is to my drinking. There are so many parallels, and that makes it pretty scary at times.

I’m in sort of an in-between place right now where I’ve started eating again and am experiencing some pretty intense physical symptoms that come with “re-feeding” (yeah, it’s like a whole thing), which has been kind of traumatic and has made me reluctant to continue at times. But I’m starting to feel a lot better and am more consistently determined to fight the disorder.

It’s hard because it has been like a security blanket for several months (and has been in the past too, this isn’t the first time I’ve had this problem, though this has been my worst episode), and letting go of it makes me feel like my life is somehow unpredictable and out of control. It’s weird, I know, I can’t really explain it. Suffice it to say, pulling away from it is very uncomfortable mentally and physically, but I know I’ve made some progress.

I had a good meeting with the specialist this morning. She assured me that all of this is normal and I’m on the right track. She also does intensive PTSD therapy which I want to try. We agreed to start that in a couple of weeks if I continue to gain weight, so that’s another motivator.

My one year sobriety date is coming up on 2/27, and my goal is to be in recovery by then, both from alcoholism and anorexia.

So yeah, it’s all good. Everything's going to be okay.
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