Ann, this hits me right between the eyes, every time I read it:
"We cling to a futile need to be right, which overrides the capacity to be at peace...."
Today, I'd rather be at peace....I don't need the futility of expecting others to acknowledge I'm right. I was serenity.
And yes, forgiveness is key. But, as Mark points out, (and this is something I was unaware of), we can also practice "willfull and deliberate forgetfullness."
There are rare occassions, when the hurt perpetuated is so great, that one cannot forgive. (I have never experienced anything that horrible, thank G*D!) But, we CAN give ourselves this gift. We can choose to purposefully forget what it was.
We can choose peace.
Oh, yea. And it is difficult to acknowledge our own part in the problem leading to resentment. That darned Step 4!!! But, it's funny how, when I recognized MY part in the resentment I had towards my ex...well...the resentment did loose it's power. We can't *unknow* what we know; even if it's my issue causing problems.
We can grow from it though.
Shalom!