Morning. Day 15 checking.
Have an awesome vacation kittycat! I'm super jealous as it's -30 with the wind here this morning.
I ordered an AVRT book yesterday as I feel like the "pink cloud" or whatever is dissipating. With my depression lately the AV was full throttle yesterday afternoon. I find nothing is bringing me joy these last few days, even things that usually do. Exercise helps alot, but my body feels extra weak and just "off". When I got to work yesterday, within 15 minutes I just felt something come over me and I sat there feeling empty. Everything felt pointless. I used to feel like this when I drank too and it would come and go. I guess I've been expecting for this to go away as I always thought it went hand in hand with the drinking. I know I've had depression and anxiety my whole life, but I've been taking these feelings extra hard lately because I can't turn to the booze. The funny thing is I noticed I wasn't thinking about drinking at all yesterday, until close to end of day when that voice started to speak. I then thought it was all a ruse and that's where these feelings are coming from....the beast inside. It didn't make itself known until I was at my weakest. Anyways, I'm tired and trying to wake up so I hope that doesn't sound too much like the ramblings of a crazy person
Much love and hope everyone has a good day.