Midton - nicely done booking a mini-break. I can relate to the obsessive nature of planning things, especially trips. I actually quite enjoy the planning process so put a lot of effort into it. It took me a long while to actually book our mini-break - we are going to Florida in early March. I researched hotels, thought about dates/times etc. and finally made the decision. May we both get a good break!
Re: drinking and parenting, I agree - they don't go together well, which is another reason to stop. I am lucky that I am very close to all 3 of my kids and I don't know if any permanent damage was done psychologically because of it, but it seems they have all moved on from it if there was. They have other issues they are dealing with.
Interestingly, I play the part of the "emotional role" with all 3 kids and my ex is the "financial provider type." It's just his nature - he's not as able to relate to them and never has been, although he's a great dad and really wants to connect with all of them. He recently made the comment to me that he doesn't have much of a relationship with either my eldest (the daughter) or the second child (the one with autism). Both of them live with me most of the time and are clearly more bonded with me. The third one spends about equal time at both our houses out of necessity - I can't do it all and he goes to a private school which requires a lot of logistical planning - so he has gotten used to spending several nights a week at each at our houses. He seems to be good with both parents, but when given the choice he picks to stay at my house, in spite of the fact that my ex's house is "fancier" (in his words). My ex doesn't have an issue with alcohol and never has (lucky him ) - he can share a bottle of wine on a Saturday night and be done with it for the week!
The bottom line is that even though drinking does affect families and kids, I have managed to do lot of my suffering on my own and in silence and it has affected me more than anyone else. In any event, I never want to go back and am feeling good about where I am right now and my plans for the new year.