Scott and twtbd, I will address your responses to the best of my ability. I do not disagree with your assessment. Scott, this is not an excuse, but I do not like the spotlight on me. That is probably in and of itself an issue. I don't like people paying attention to me and my behaviors. I've been in the spotlight, it was fun while it lasted, but I'd rather remain in the shadows. I'm more comfortable there. I've been on TV, I've been in magazines, I've gone to bars and had my successes played on the big screen TV's and been mobbed by folks who were in the fitness industry. My point is that I don't want to drone on and on about my problems and issues in my life. It took a leap of faith to even sign up to this website. Since then, I've become a little more comfortable and have opened up.
In terms of what I am doing for myself to be sober: I am trying, I am making an effort. For all of my life, I've never made an effort (at least anything substantial) to be sober. I will be the first to admit, I am not living in sobriety, I am currently "not drinking". At the moment, I will accept that. It's ironic because I have a couple of different industries that seek me out as a consultant for success, and yet I bare my soul on this forum, and I feel I'm being admonished. It is odd to me, but I am open to accepting it. All I can tell you is that I often tell people that giving 100% is the best you can do, and that will take you far. I am giving about as close to 100% as I can, and its uncomfortable to me to be told "it isn't good enough". I understand it, but it is an adjustment in thinking.