Good morning - it's Friday! Which means I get to think about what I'm going to do this weekend!
First of all ... Strong, all the best with the search. Keep posting on your thoughts, if it feels better to get them out. We are all behind you!
It' so nice to see folks feeling the positive effects of being sober. Planning, looking forward, saying no to our AVs! ... it's a great vibe.
I had an anxious moment about work this morning. I'd been reflecting on the work stuff I posted about yesterday, and I'm seeing how work causes me stress and how that tied into my drinking. I've stopped stressing so much about my professional abilities - I guess time and experience has helped with that. But I still stress about where I sit in the "hierarchy", how I can gain respect of people I view as "important", etc.
It sounds petty but the anxiety I had this morning was around asking to be included in an event with a key client. I have developed a strong relationship with the client but it's one of those "exclusive" corporate-box gigs that involves jostling with big egos. Putting myself forward always makes me feel judged / scrutinised. In the past, I drank away the insecurity. But part of the motivation for getting sober was to reach my potential in all parts of my life which is now feeding into my career anxiety. Where is that confidence I posted about yesterday!?
The mindfulness book I'm reading (hat-tip Brach!) has helped. Perhaps I should journal about it. I might also make another appointment with the counsellor just to talk it through.
Anyway that was my BUMOSI for today.
My plans for the weekend include continuing to transfer my music and donate my CDs (yes, I still have loads of them). I am also thinking of re-working parts of my recovery plan. This coming Monday will be 4 weeks sober for me and as I've been learning more about myself and my alcoholism, I think my plan could do with updating.
Stay strong everyone and thanks for putting up with me and my BUMOSIs. I wish you all a great Friday ahead.