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Old 01-03-2016, 06:30 AM
  # 236 (permalink)  
BobbyLight
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Morning everyone. Day 6 (for real this time). I'd like to share the last 3 years of my life, and I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

I've always had addiction problems, although the last 3 years they really came to a head. I broke up with my fiancee just over 3 years ago. At that time I had gone through an outpatient program for 2 weeks, along with a year of counselling, and along with a prescription for an SSRI. My problem was both drugs and alcohol, however in my head this effort was for the drug. I got through what I needed to, but then she put an ultimatum on my head to quit the drink. At that point, our relationship was already a mess and I was done with it. I said no, told her to leave, and I was newly single. This is where the drink REALLY took hold. I managed to stay away from the drug, however I was waking up and guzzling vodka and not leaving the house. Getting black out drunk and listening to tunes cranked until all hours of the day/night. This was new...a week passed of this and it was new. I was staying away from the drug so in it's place came the full tilt boogie of booze. During this time, I lost my job, I lost my house, and wound up moving back to my hometown with my tail between my legs. I was close with a friend who helped me through it all and I moved in with her.

Once I was home, the drinking continued. I managed to find a job I called in sick to almost weekly as I was still drinking like a crazy person. I then got a DUI and spent 24 hours in jail. I lost my license, and was told I couldn't drink. I sobered up for 3 months as this scared the hell out of me. After the verdict, I was allowed to drink again. It started with beer, and soon was back to my old way of living, but at about 60% this time.

My mother was found dead in 2013. This was hard to come to terms with, so I went with my old friend in a bottle. For the next 2 years, I'd quit drinking, start drinking, quit drinking....etc. I would black out and be very aggressive and it was just...gross. It put an incredible strain on my new relationship. Again I was having problems at work and was put on an attendance program. I'd smarten up for a bit, then it would snowball into a binge that would then deflate everything.

We moved into a new house in late 2015. I had another one of these snowball experiences that peaked in November. At this time, I was sick of it. No more. I told myself: Only beer and wine. Only during the weekend. Only a 6 pack at most. Guess where I ended up again to end up here?

The day after boxing day, we went to my fiancees sisters. I had been drinking steady for 4 days. Her brother had brought a bottle of whiskey. After I had about 6 beers and a bottle of wine, I decided to start sneaking shots out of the bottle.....just had to have more, chasing something. We were playing a board game and I blacked out. I then came to outside shoving her brother and yelling. No recollection of why I was doing this. I wound up getting a cab home alone. I woke up the next day with a text from the brother saying he was not mad and that I had a drinking problem. He was very supportive and it was touching. My fiancee came home a few days later and I was done drinking. The next day I joined this forum and decided to REALLY work on my sobriety.

Thanks for listening. I wanted to share a bit more of myself with the group. Much love
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