Oh boy can I relate. My father...functioning, abusive, raging alcoholic. My mother...Co dependent, depressed, victim and occasional drinker. My sister...bordeline personality disorder, abusive and an addict. So here I am, growing up the "A student", complying, adjusting, surviving in this crazy house. No one ever knew I existed.
I'm fiercely independent, insecure, not confident in decision making, and most times wonder if I'm doing it all wrong...no roll models, no support, no love. The squeaky wheel always wins. It sucks, and sometimes i wish I had parents who were involved. Sometimes I wish they would tell ME what I should do..give me advice, but no, I made my own choices. I'm 43 now and sometimes still feel like a scared child. I get it.