I made it through Christmas watching everyone else drinking. So my AV told me I was okay and I could have a couple with my husband now that it's over and I made it though. No problem, UGH…. the next day I went and had a lot more than a couple beers with my husband. We ended up gambling AGAIN and lost $1,000. I woke up so depressed, I sat around and zoned out on Videos and TV all day. I wanted to drink just to get rid of the nasty hangover, but I was too depressed and angry.
I don't know why I picked up again on Tuesday,
I just keep thinking I'm missing out on something. It's so hard to watch other people drink and it seems like it would be fun. You know to loosen up and get happy spirits, lighten the mood. But it's not worth it. I do stupid reckless things when I drink, stuff I would never do sober. I only had 2 and then drank a bunch of lemon water to try and get rid of the effects and got to bed early. I want to be done with it. I don't like it.
Anyhow I've recommitted again, so I'm back on day 2, that's depressing in itself after having 45 days. Now my AV is saying oh come on it's the last day of the year you can start fresh tomorrow with a brand new year.
blaaa… blaaa.. blaaa… yuck.