A lot of that rings true with me, Toots. I felt that life without booze was essentially a joyless place and at times I had to fight hard as I missed the familiar comfort of my old friend, the bottle. Nevertheless, over the last few months I have rediscovered my sense of humour, have found moments to laugh, dance and sing. It's sad in a way that I used to think that I couldn't do those things without drinking first but I have found that, of course, I can and do.
I'm leaving London tomorrow and taking the family back to where we live in Spain.
It's been a good visit but I'm ready to go. My Mum is being difficult. Insists on getting wine out at every meal although she hardly drinks. She tells me that I'm not a "real alcoholic", not compared to some people (!!??!) and that of course I would be able to drink in moderation if I want. I guess that she is having trouble accepting my problem. Yesterday I asked her to stop. I said that I was surprised that she couldn't see that this is the happiest I've been for many years and why she felt the need to mess with that. Of course, she didn't see it in quite the same way!! Maybe it's not so strange that people like my mother and brother should find it hard to accept that I've changed. I've really noticed how deeply drinking culture is embedded in our family. People just don't consider letting their hair down and relaxing until the drink comes out.
Well. They'll just have to get used to it, but yes... certainly ready to head home and start the new sober year there!
Take care everyone!