I am still feeling like I will be ashamed to go to AA. But who knows where I will end up without it. Death will probably be easier. And I do realise people in AA have same issues as me. Just like you. I would like to have someone here, because I feel so much alone. (I feel all of this guilt, like I'm a bad person who might as well die, I am someone who should not be trusted....it just goes on). It continues, even though I know in my heart I am not a bad person.