I feel your pain. My situation is similar to yours. Readers' Digest condensed version of my story is: My mother is now 90 years old and still a full blown enabler. My father died 8 years ago. My 61 year old drug addicted brother has lived with her (them) for 10 years (even though he has a separate home near her but is "scared" to stay by himself most of the time). He draws SSI, lays in bed a lot and complains constantly about how bad he feels (except when he wants to go somewhere, possibly to see a woman). All his current drugs are supplied by legal dealers, i.e. medical doctor prescriptions. Mother suggested he go see a medical doctor a few years ago because it was about the break her financially to give him money everyday to buy street drugs. She does all the cooking, housekeeping, etc. She still drives and will drop everything and drive to the store to buy anything he desires. He is paranoid and shows signs of dementia. She has always been mentally sharp but lately has been showing the first signs of age related dementia. My dilemma has always been how to show respect/love to my mother but not become an enabler to them both. I repeat the Serenity Prayer daily and pray it will really take hold in my life. I dread the day I may have to step in and take legal action. I wish you well in dealing with your situation. It is tricky trying to keep your sanity while acknowledging how dysfunctional your closest loved ones are. One more fact - my sister took her own life several years ago, she had severe depression, but only in part because of the brother/mother situation.