Originally Posted by
IWLSAST 
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that a Higher Power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
None of this happened overnight, but, my recovery first attitude has led to a pretty amazing happiness - in spite of some major wreckage that in many ways align with the issues you described. If I were facing a difficult day, as I still often do, I would be sure to write a gratitude list, accept that I can only tackle what I can TODAY, be sure to include music as part of my day, avoid isolation through interaction and try to help another suffering from our disease. Somehow, keeping a focus in just for today seems to work magic for me.
When I first heard The Promises, they sounded silly to me. I didn't see myself as needing fixing! It was the people around me who did. Haha. It has taken months of diligently facing my own side of the street, just for that day, to see them beginning to emerge in my life.
Carlos - I liked how you referenced the tug between doing what is right (the gym) and what you want (watch football with your buddy). It reminds me of how I try to frame my day. In the car on the way to work I relax, drink coffee, mentally compile my gratitude list, then figure out how I'm going to bring my recovery principles into my day's plans. On the weekend I sip coffee in the living room. It can be as simple as "today I will try to be patient when working with someone who's approach to work annoys/disgusts me." If I need a jump start I read the Hazelden thought of the day.
Just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy - at least not for this alcoholic!!
I've failed at being truly sparkling with a few of my colleagues. I keep choosing to say nothing when I don't know what to say. I haven't crossed the line into telling them how to be more like me - lol - at least not yet!!
I have been rocking and rolling through some house cleaning over the past few days off. I've got a couple more things to do today then I'm taking the kids to see Star Wars.
I'm not a New Years resolution person, but this year some of my major housekeeping resolutions are aligning with the start of the new year. My husband and I have decided to do some projects on our house then decide whether to Love It or List It (one of my favorite TV shows!) Due to time constraints and budgeting, I suspect it'll take a couple years to go through the punch list and make that decision. I'm in no rush because this house is affordable and in a great location. Being grateful for what I have, being in no rush and being able to delay gratification for 2 years is brought to me only by recovery.
Have a great day!